This year lose the worry

If there’s one thing I can honestly say I excel at, it’s worry. Like many in my family we’re prized at this characteristic. I could say I received this gift from my mom but it actually goes back beyond mom into my family with grandmothers, aunts, uncles, siblings and more. Mom will read this and I’m probably in for an earful for outing our family secret. But here goes, I and many in the DiRenzo clan are incessant worriers. It really is a special talent. When you worry you find the more you worry the more your mind wants to worry until you’re pretty much always worried. It’s got so bad at one time on the occasions I wasn’t worried I became worried because I wasn’t worried! Let’s review all of the good things that worry has won for us over the years. I think it’s a healthy exercise as we start the year. Has worry landed any one in the right job? Helped relationships? Helped in any aspect of our lives? From my experience it’s never helped, in fact, it has caused restless anxiety, a lot of stress and is a colossal waste of time.

Expert worriers or those that just disagree will often remark I’m wrong including any comments made here. Why without worry we’d never be motivated to manage our affairs or see to correcting problems and making things right. I’ll retort it’s not worry that helps us square up the issues in our lives it’s something much more powerful. Concern. Concern beats worry on all counts. Concern motivates us to move in the right direction. Take on the tough of it with the proper input, getting direction, trouble shooting the good vs. the bad. The key lies in trying to reach consensus, consider all important factors and the lives of all involved then moving to resolution. Concern propels, worry paralyzes. Many have often remarked if worry is so useless why do so many of us do it? There’s no pat answer. Each of us who worries constantly ( by the way you’re reading remarks from the President of the Quakertown Chapter of the National Worriers Society ) has our own reasons. I am being sarcastic but if there was or is a National Worriers Society this columnist has the crown. Worry just becomes who you are if you do it enough.

Late last year and so far into this year I’ve begun the process of losing a partnership with worry. I am filing for a full and non contestable divorce with worry. I’ve frankly had it with worry and am increasingly less tolerant with fellow worriers. I’ve worried almost full time for much of my adult life and the biggest dividend worry has ever returned? You guessed it, more worry. Isn’t that special. I’ve read over the last few years that worry is actually chalking up a few more honors. Constant worry it seems has medically been connected to causing unhealthy stress ( no surprise ) and this added stress is a cause of a lot of illness from the minor, to over a life time of worry, the more serious. A lifetime worrier is easily spotted. We always look our age ( if not older ) If you’ve seen me walking by I look every bit of 41. Every time someone asks my age I never hear ‘Really, you don’t look that old’. We’re too often serious ( take that as not smiling a lot ).

Continuous worriers are generally not a happy bunch. We’re not mean or off putting ( although we can appear to be and sometimes can be ). Worriers suffer mostly themselves rather than putting others through the ringer. The never ending worrier is usually endearing to others and often we make people laugh at our always worrying demeanor. Hollywood has had fun portraying the ‘incessant worrier’ in movie and TV for decades.

Here are some traits to look for if you’re wondering if you or someone you love is a full time worrier. As mentioned earlier too serious too often, anxious, irritable, impatient, looking afraid, restless, lack of paying attention. There’s one more descriptor that’s the biggest tell tale symptom. If you or someone you know is described as ‘nervous’ ( worry’s brother ) you may be a full time worrier. Worry affects all genders and ages and no one is exempt from being a sufferer of continuous worrying. It can hit anyone.

So what’s the cure? I’ve just discovered it. Shows you I’ve been buried under a rock for a while. Focus on the cure for worry as mentioned earlier. Replace worry with concern. Concern allows you to see the problem without added stress ( the problem alone may be stressful enough no need to throw more stress and ‘worry’ into the mix ). Concern allows you to be a little helpless, sometimes a good thing, as it keeps us open minded and teachable to the best advisors we can find. Concern is less ‘taxing’ on the body. You’ll still eat normally, get enough rest and have a more pleasant demeanor. Concern is clearly the anecdote. This year lose the worry and when you stop worrying you’ll as singer Bobby McFerrin quips can start being ‘Happy again’. Working on being worry free, see ‘ya around town.