What ever happened to the social graces?
4-7-08

You read my column and by now you know. One of my big pet peeves is technology. Look, I’m not against progress. Even now at almost 11pm on a Tuesday night thanks to technology I can pen my column, point, click and shoot off to Editor David Anderson. Gone are the days where you have to be anywhere to actually be anywhere. For those using technology, yes, the last sentence makes complete sense. Technology has allowed for amazing advancements and has helped us grow our lives to ways we never thought possible. We can be around the world online in an instant. We can instant message our friends, text message each other, download podcasts of our favorite shows and much more. The scary part is we’ve only seen the start of technology impacting our lives. Soon, computers will be the size of an ink pen you can clip in your pocket and when you need them, these devices open up like a laptop complete with a hologram keyboard and video monitor. Amazing doesn’t begin to describe these and other devices coming down the pike. It won’t be long before today’s laptops, pdas and Blackberries are considered antiquated.

There’s plenty of upside. I know, I’m aware and I love what technology has done and will continue to do for us in ways that grow progress and commerce. There’s a very dark side to technology that we have to talk about. Kind of like the big white elephant in the middle of the room no one wants to admit is there. Technology can take almost as much as it gives. Let’s take as an example a very simple piece of technology that in my view has thwarted culture and the growth of social skills. I speak of the omnipresent cell phone. Just about everyone has them. I’m waiting for pets to start carrying their own doggie and cat phones. Don’t laugh someone will think of it. Back in my younger days, people could be reached at home or at work. If you wanted to reach my parents you would call my home. I would answer or one of my brothers would answer, occasionally mom or dad would beat us to the phone. Usually, I would answer and so began having conversations with people who originally called to speak to someone else such as my folks. I learned how to speak with dad’s co workers, a whole host of family and friends and just about everyone in my parents’ circle they knew I also knew. Fast forward to today and if you want to speak to me you don’t have to go through Anthony or Phillip to get to me, you simply call my cell which is where you’ll either get me or my voice mail. Something is wrong with that. Anthony and Phillip along with scores of other kids don’t get to talk about their daily routine with my friends, my family and others who are all seeking me out. We can get right to the person we want today at the click of a button. Kids learn how to relate and become ‘relational’ when they get to speak and socialize with all kinds of people. Technology has restricted that process. This has been touched upon before by other columnists, and I want to continue to praise this important theme.

All of this technology has done more to slow down the process of social skills and courteous behavior. If you have to wait for anything longer than 30 minutes it’s a life tragedy. Want to watch your favorite movie? Click on demand or dial up your satellite provider. Want to go shopping and do so in your fuzzy bunny slippers? Order online with secure screening credit card purchases and have your order in less than a day on virtually anything. There’s a move for more people to work from home, home school their kids and do just about anything you’d ever want to do without entering civilization. If I didn’t step in, my sons, a lot like many other kids would choose to spend the day on some form of technology. The computer (instant messaging friends ), on this device called a PSP, which is a hand held video game, playing wii, x-box, game cube or watching TV. When I was little we had ‘Atari’ or ‘pong’, after 20 minutes you would get bored and do what all kids should always be doing, playing with friends OUTSIDE. A friend of mine once quipped he didn’t like all the video games and computer programs available today but at least you know your kids are in the house and safe provided your monitoring their internet web site visits and instant messaging. Even with that surveillance I don’t agree. There’s nothing dangerous about kids playing outside. Outside is where kids belong. On bikes, playing stickball (Do they still play that? I did as a kid). Kids should be playing outside as much as possible, as much as weather allows. We’re about to enter prime time weather season and hopefully the technology will turn off and the playing outside will turn on. Kids interacting in person with their friends, inter personal skills developing and forming. When I hear about kids who have a hard time socializing I wonder how many of them are around other people enough to have practice at developing good social skills.

I’ll round out my remarks by saying we’re a better people than to be around electrodes all the time. Here’s a great example of how our most seasoned citizens can teach all of us younger people a lesson. We’re having another ‘station dance’ coming up April 25th. Our listeners are invited to buy tickets on the phone and online. One day I received a call, actually several calls from listeners who asked if we’d have the audacity to set up shop at the hotel where the dance will be held and – here’s the most unbelievable part, wanted to know if we’d sell the tickets to them IN ADVANCE AND IN PERSON. We have and we’ll continue to. Nothing beats face to face. Man to man, person to person. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that business, social skills and inter personal relationships need human contact to flourish. In person, looking forward to seeing and talking with you around town.