What Mom REALLY wants on Sunday...
5-04-08

Happy Mom’s Day to all our moms. The Calendar says the day for dear old mom comes in on the 11th, just a few short days away. Have you thought about what you’re getting the woman who brought you into the world? I always stress over this holiday. Mom’s day is absolutely a holiday. Restaurants call Mom’s Day one of their busiest if not the busiest of the year. Department store sales abound the weeks and days leading up to this Sunday, simply check this paper, turn on any TV or radio and you’ll be bombarded about what moms want most this Sunday. Here’s hoping to all the moms in our region and beyond that Mother’s Day '08 is all you want it to be for you and your family.

What does my mom want? How about your mom? I’ve mentioned before if you’ve read my column in many ways ours may be the first generation that doesn’t live as well as our parents. Sure technology helps in a great way. There’s more stuff to do and have in 2008 then there was in 1948, 58, 68 or beyond. Stuff, technology more abounding in pop culture doesn’t mean life quality improves. Think for a moment. Could a family of four survive predominantly on one income 30, 40 or more years ago? The answer is mostly yes. How about today? Rare is the case that one person’s income can carry a family of four. How about life’s other important quality element? TIME. Do we have more to spend with those we love today vs. what families had at their disposal a few decades ago? There’s no contest, today’s married and / or single parent families are stretched for more money and time than ever before. The sluggish economy aside these issues aren’t new news for any family working to grow, make ends meet and raise children.

You’re probably thinking what’s this have to do with Mom’s Day? If you ask my mom and lots of women like Angela DiRenzo it has everything to do with Mother’s Day. To give you a piece of my mom’s perspective which I know isn’t unique, mom’s take is when your kids are raised and now they're raising their kids you look down the path you’ve trudged and think what would make me most happy? Another blouse from the local department store? Another dinner out? Another spa treatment? It’s not like that for many of today’s moms. This isn’t to say that a day of recognition isn’t appreciated. My mom’s always gracious as most are for a day of dining out or a meal prepared in their honor. Gifts, the attention, it’s all good.

My mother used to quip as a younger person to me when I’d ask, ‘What do you want for your big day mom?’ Mom would respond, ‘What I want you can’t give me now. I want peace of mind, I want to know you and your brothers and dad will be OK well into old age. I want to know you’ll grow up to be good men and raise good kids. I want to know you’ll be productive and contribute to your communities. Eventually, that’s the Mother’s Day gift I want. Right now David you can’t give that to me; someday I hope you will.’ When I first put the question to my mother I was a kid. Like most kids we think simply that Mother’s Day is coming, mom should have a gift. That was that. As an older man I think back to mom’s remarks. I’ll see her this Sunday. Have I given her what she ultimately wants? I don’t know and frankly I’m a lot more comfortable taking her to dinner and giving a gift certificate to the department store of her choice.

We like things simple. Clean. Easy. Mother’s Day is here, been here for decades. You get the card, gift, go to the dinner. Be nice to mom. Go home and go about your business on Monday May 12th. Just another day on the calendar. That’s all fine but moms want more. What makes moms so extraordinary is they want a lot more, but for us. Here’s a few things I am trying to keep in mind as I grow older and more mature. Well, at least older. Am I everyday being the child I was raised to be? Am I everyday thinking of one thing, it only takes a second, that mom taught me? If so, am I applying that in my daily living? Am I giving to my kids the love, attention and devotion my mother gave to me? Am I caring? Do I make my kids recipes from time to time that mom taught and made for me? There’s a lot more questions we can use to self examine ourselves about how or if we’re carrying forward what moms have given to all of us. I look at this list and wonder where I stand. It is so much easier to give the present to mom than open mom’s gift to ourselves and wear it everyday.

Life’s crazy pace can be slowed down. We can regain control of our family life and stop being influenced by pop culture and societal pressure. We don’t have to live life on someone else’s terms. We can live them on our own. Treat your mom this Sunday and then really give her the gift she wants, tell her you remember what she taught you and once in a while you actually apply it to your daily living. I’m hoping it gets my mom thinking she got through. I know your mom, my mom and really everyone’s mom ultimately want the same thing. Let’s all try and keep that in mind as we approach this Sunday. Enjoy the day with your mother this Sunday and gentlemen don’t forget to wear something nice when you see mom. For some reason moms, no matter how old we are, get all worked up ( in a good way ) when we’re dressed nicely. I know it’s no fun but do it anyway. You’ll be glad you did. See ’ya around town.