Way too much time on their hands...
4-30-09

From the Associated Press: "Each week for nearly 30 years, Bob Chimento and his college buddies have gathered around tables in a Mount Pleasant, South Carolina home to play the popular version of poker known as Texas Hold 'em, bringing $20 and spending an evening with pizza, sodas and beer. As the cards flew during a night in April 2006, a half-dozen police officers burst into the home, seizing several thousand dollars in cash and a small amount of marijuana. They ticketed Chimento and about 20 other players for breaking the conservative state's 200-year-old prohibition on games of chance".

Say it isn't so Joe. I'm the furthest thing from being an advocate for recreational drug use and I'm no scofflaw. Frankly, I believe strongly as a community we need to follow the laws of society in every way. That said I think this incident needs a bit of my attention. The AP article goes on to say the majority of those charged paid their fines but Chimento and a few others are fighting the law which they believe is antiquated. I must agree. Some things in life are sacred. Male bonding among them. Getting together with a group of your buds, for pizza, beverages, poker and fellowship should be every man's right. In my view it should be a constitutional amendment. Remind me to write my congressman. With all respect to the authorities in South Carolina there has to be more important things to do in Mt. Pleasant then break up a game of Texas Hold 'em. What's next NCAA March madness betting? By the way let me out myself right now I participated in an NCAA pool last month. I bet $10 and filled out a bracket. Am I a lawbreaker? If so you better increase the size of our local jails because I'm in good company.

Before you think this case is isolated, think again. From the same AP article, 'The Washington-based Poker Players Alliance says it has received so many calls about poker-related arrests that it's created a national network of attorneys many of them poker players themselves to serve as a legal brain trust for its membership". What a colossal waste of everyone's time. If you look literally at the South Carolina law being used to try Chimento and his buds, you'll see that any game with cards or dice, including games such as Monopoly or Sorry are illegal. Well, sorry that's just wrong.

Let's start raiding rest homes and assisted living facilities in South Carolina for crying out loud. I'm sure there's a few threatening older men and women gathering regularly to break this all important South Carolina law. I understand every state has laws on the books which have long been irrelevant. One such example is in Pittsburgh, where according to legalzoom.com there's a special cleaning ordinance which bans housewives from sweeping dirt under the rug. I doubt the Pittsburgh Police are raiding homes giving the white glove test under homeowner's carpets. These laws remain on our books and for the most part are somewhat humorous and informative about our history as a state, local region and nation.

I'm not crying but I am asking for some uniform, basic rights all men deserve. (Cue America the Beautiful) I believe all men should have the right to get together with their buds, hang out, play cards, bet small amounts of money and eat food that's bad for us. I believe men should be able to do this without having the law breathing down their necks and just as important, any heat from their significant others. Too many women shopping, getting together with girlfriends and going to the salon, beauty parlor, restaurant is their outlet. You have yours, let us have ours. I want to be able to look at my sons later in life when they're grown and say your dad protected your male rights. You can go off with your friends and play a game of cards, hang out and do other guy stuff without breaking any laws, just be responsible. What might be the deal breaker for Chimento and his friends is that their little card game was advertised online. The online advertised component of their gambling get together's apparently is where the authorities have the biggest beef. All right so deal with this, fine them and move on. But for goodness sakes lets save 'male bonding' from extinction. I'm participating in a Monday night men's basketball league at St. Isidore's, I'll make sure we don't bet on foul shooting. I wouldn't want to be writing my next column from inside Quakertown Police headquarters. Doing my best to stay on the right side of the law; see 'ya around town.